I was going to write a long entry about this whole Chris thing. In fact, I have a good two pages all about it in my journal. I still feel that perhaps I should put it here for everyone to read it, were it not for the fact that Chris is probably feeling pretty damn shitty right now and I don't feel that I need to add to it in any way. He alone is responsible for the way he's feeling.
Chris, you have made one of the most unbelievable mistakes I've ever encountered and I am incredibly enraged with you about it. I just didn't see it as my place to post what you've done here for all to see. Consider yourself lucky. Others still may not give you such a chance. I will, however, include my reaction. My ire can be placated only so far.
"Though I was present when Kate received her letter, I had no ideas what the contents were, and I did not hear the story until Adam and Ian Simpson, who had actually read the entry, filled us all in. There was general shock on everyone’s part and we discussed how crazy it was for Chris to do. I was told that had I read the entry, I would have gone “apeshit,” which is quoted for the extremity of the situation. I’d like to think I would not be such a raging beast if I'd seen it, but being that he sullied the characters of my favorite people, not to mention dishonored them as women, it’s not a foregone conclusion. I have related my personal feelings, as touched upon here, in his comments. I’m not sure what this will mean for Chris amongst our group, but he has certainly done something that will haunt him in all of our minds and it is unfortunate. I wish that it could be different, but I do not condone his words or actions by any stretch of the imagination. What hath Chris wrought?"
Thursday, January 30, 2003
Thursday, January 23, 2003
Wow, snow day, time to go out and play in the…..dead grass and pavement. Yep, no snow. Somehow, though, I’m comforted by it. I know a great many of my friends needed a day off and therefore I’m glad they got it. Maybe tonight we’ll hit the trivia night somewhere and make sure the day doesn’t go by without some mental stimulation. As a backup, there’s always my A Man for All Seasons assignment.
My antics so far today have been quite trivial except for one. Today, at the suggestion of a good friend of mine, I took down my giant K’nex tower. Now, if you haven’t ever been to my house, let me explain. When I have people over, everyone walks into my family room, and there, in the far corner, was my K’nex “Space Training Tower,” roughly 6 ½ feet high. It consists of a dozen or so little K’nex men that ride carts, swing on ziplines, and generally spin and ride around this humongous contraption. I built the tower in my K’nex phase, probably about five or six years ago. It took me about a weekend to built and today, on my day off, it took me an hour to take down. As I snapped off the connectors, I thought of all of the times I used to play with it. My favorite game was taking one of the little spacemen and dropping him down the center shaft where all of the big gears were. I was a demented little kid. I played with it for about a year at the most and then it sat. It became a conversation piece for my visiting friends, prompting me to turn it on proudly and watch it whir for a few moments of long lost pride and amusement. Then, I’d unplug it and more serious business was attended to. Such was the cycle, although over the last few years, more and more people commented on how dusty it is and more and more, I thought about taking it down.
Today, I finally set to it. I pulled out the box and started breaking it down from the top. However, after a few minutes, I found myself playing like a child again. I began trying to pull out as many supports as I could to see how long an individual portion would stay up. I snapped out the longer pieces to watch the smaller ones pop out on their own and a whole section of the training center, men and all, come crashing down a few feet to the floor. It was fun to say the least. I realized that I could take the entire thing apart from the bottom by taking out key pieces, so I sat down and completely disassembled the entire tower. I didn’t leave any two pieces together, because some subconscious part of me wanted to honor the fact that no two pieces were together when I started building it. Connections snapped apart with puffs of dust, as neglect had thoroughly coated the entire structure with a gray haze. I thought about how it was sort of depressing that a big triumph of my childhood had become a burden and a bit of an eyesore.
In the end, I put in the last piece, shut the box, taped the edges and put it back in the upstairs closet, on top of every other puzzle I’ve ever had, some of which still sit around the house. I’ll get to those one of these days as well. I came back downstairs, looked in the corner and one thought entered my mind: “Wow, it really looks a lot better without it.” Truthfully, the room looks a lot nicer and cleaner without the tower there. Maybe that’s because the bright gaudy colors of the K’nex set didn’t exactly go well with the color coordination in the family room. Maybe it’s because it was a magnet for cobwebs and dust. But maybe, just maybe, it’s because the things of childhood are meant to be put away after a while. The tower was a crowning achievement of my childhood, and I’m still pretty proud that I did it when I was younger, but it’s not exactly a crowning achievement of my life as a whole. That being said, I don’t need it to be a trophy anymore. It’s perfectly fine sitting up in the closet with the rest of my childhood pleasures. Out of sight, yes. Out of mind? Not in the least.
My antics so far today have been quite trivial except for one. Today, at the suggestion of a good friend of mine, I took down my giant K’nex tower. Now, if you haven’t ever been to my house, let me explain. When I have people over, everyone walks into my family room, and there, in the far corner, was my K’nex “Space Training Tower,” roughly 6 ½ feet high. It consists of a dozen or so little K’nex men that ride carts, swing on ziplines, and generally spin and ride around this humongous contraption. I built the tower in my K’nex phase, probably about five or six years ago. It took me about a weekend to built and today, on my day off, it took me an hour to take down. As I snapped off the connectors, I thought of all of the times I used to play with it. My favorite game was taking one of the little spacemen and dropping him down the center shaft where all of the big gears were. I was a demented little kid. I played with it for about a year at the most and then it sat. It became a conversation piece for my visiting friends, prompting me to turn it on proudly and watch it whir for a few moments of long lost pride and amusement. Then, I’d unplug it and more serious business was attended to. Such was the cycle, although over the last few years, more and more people commented on how dusty it is and more and more, I thought about taking it down.
Today, I finally set to it. I pulled out the box and started breaking it down from the top. However, after a few minutes, I found myself playing like a child again. I began trying to pull out as many supports as I could to see how long an individual portion would stay up. I snapped out the longer pieces to watch the smaller ones pop out on their own and a whole section of the training center, men and all, come crashing down a few feet to the floor. It was fun to say the least. I realized that I could take the entire thing apart from the bottom by taking out key pieces, so I sat down and completely disassembled the entire tower. I didn’t leave any two pieces together, because some subconscious part of me wanted to honor the fact that no two pieces were together when I started building it. Connections snapped apart with puffs of dust, as neglect had thoroughly coated the entire structure with a gray haze. I thought about how it was sort of depressing that a big triumph of my childhood had become a burden and a bit of an eyesore.
In the end, I put in the last piece, shut the box, taped the edges and put it back in the upstairs closet, on top of every other puzzle I’ve ever had, some of which still sit around the house. I’ll get to those one of these days as well. I came back downstairs, looked in the corner and one thought entered my mind: “Wow, it really looks a lot better without it.” Truthfully, the room looks a lot nicer and cleaner without the tower there. Maybe that’s because the bright gaudy colors of the K’nex set didn’t exactly go well with the color coordination in the family room. Maybe it’s because it was a magnet for cobwebs and dust. But maybe, just maybe, it’s because the things of childhood are meant to be put away after a while. The tower was a crowning achievement of my childhood, and I’m still pretty proud that I did it when I was younger, but it’s not exactly a crowning achievement of my life as a whole. That being said, I don’t need it to be a trophy anymore. It’s perfectly fine sitting up in the closet with the rest of my childhood pleasures. Out of sight, yes. Out of mind? Not in the least.
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
Saturday, January 18, 2003
Tonight, however, I’m struck by a sort of bad mood. I was at Mock Trial tonight and I realized that I’m not enjoying it. It’s hard work, but not the good kind that you feel will prove worth the time. I’m just bored, stressed and exhausted from dealing with Mrs. Edwards (now Knapp), who treats us like children. I feel so young and stupid when she’s around, but not because she’s old and wise. She just patronizes us so much it degrades my sense of any sort of individualism and adulthood. So, then, why don’t I quit? Because I always quit. Quitting has been the one thing I’ve stuck to during my entire experience with high school activities. If things get too hard, I just stop participating. I’ve never devoted true diligence to anything and now, I look back and I think, “Damn, I’m going to regret this someday. I just know it.” I already do. I envy Kate and her soccer career. Not only has she stuck with her sport, but she’s damn good at it. She’s got years of accomplishments in soccer to be proud of and I have nothing except for some academic bowl trophies that magically stop after sophomore year, fleeting memories of the baseball training for the tryouts I almost went to, French dictionaries for the class I dropped this year, and a discus that sits unused in my garage. The final item may be used again, but I didn’t work on my technique at all this entire year since last season. What kind of determination is that? Why do I do this? Why do I quit so much, or if not quit, then do a half-assed job? Why? Why can’t I find a sport or activity I like and stick with it? Even fencing. I took lessons and I haven’t even looked into joining a club for it. I get so pissed at myself. That’s why I can’t quit Mock Trial. I can’t let myself quit again. I have to prove I can stick with something. However, if that’s my noble cause, why does it not feel like it will even yield satisfaction. ‘Tis pity. Maybe, just maybe ( and this was just a final thought as I was ending this), maybe it’s just that I never had a dad pushing me towards sports or clubs. Mom always let me do what I wanted and her job made it hard to do after-school stuff or practices. I hate to blame this on my childhood, but the environment in which I was raised certainly didn’t help any. I don’t know. It probably is just my lack of drive in an extracurricular setting. Chalk up regrets galore.
Well, the first week back has been interesting. I’ve come to a conclusion about my approach to school this semester. I cannot get senioritis. Before you scoff, this is not some daily affirmation that I will say ten times to myself in the mirror each day along with “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.” No, I mean it’s actually impossible for me to get senioritis. I tried last semester, but I’m taking most of the classes I’m in this year because I want to and, oddly enough, that makes it hard for me not to do my homework. Physics is an exception, true, and I can’t explain why I haven’t cared about that class all year, but that is the only rogue strain of senioritis that I carry. When it comes to a class I enjoy with a teacher I respect, I have to do my homework or I’ll either feel guilty or unfulfilled, the latter being the most prominent. I like doing my Calc homework because it’s fun figuring the problems out. I love to read something in homework for Lit or write in my journal because so far, it’s usually been more fun than work. I guess what this basically means is that, in the year that I am supposed to shirk my schoolwork, ironically I have no desire to.
Tuesday, January 07, 2003
First of all, before I transfer this jonralI'd like to apologize to anyone who wasn't invited to this party, Chris and others. My mom made me cut off the list at 15. Trust me, all of you guys rock my world and if I didn't have a Gestapo mom, then I wouldn't have had the party without you. Sorry though. I hate having to do that kind of thing. Much love.
The first half of the break, or the family half, if you will, has been previously described in both my Christmas paper and the entry concerning my longing for home. The second half, however, was significantly more enriching, I believe. When we arrived home New Year’s Eve, we had much to do and very little time in which to do’t. However, we managed to get all of the required items and thus, my party was prepared. People began arriving and I greeting each of my friends with genuine enthusiasm. I had missed them greatly over the break and seeing them again made me happier than any gifts I had received.
The night progressed smoothly in the beginning. People milled around with Office Space remaining mainly unwatched by the general assembly. We ate the food my mom had prepared as well as the great appetizers and such that my friends had brought with them. For the most part, my mom was okay with the goings-on of our crowd. She preferred that the noise be kept low and told me sternly that the fireworks that Erik had brought were under no circumstances to be set off. Once the new year had come, we all celebrated loudly with noise-makers and shouting, hugged and kissed each other, and fell into an exhausted heap upon my family room floor. I can’t recall whether or not we watched There’s Something About Mary before or after midnight, but that was the second movie we all watched, cuddled with plentiful blankets, sleeping bags, and pillows on the floor and sofas. The general buzz of the room died down hour by hour, with only the occasional moment erupting in laughter, whether due to the movie or a well-timed comment. After that, we watched The Matrix and Brotherhood of the Wolf, completing a random, but pleasant, marathon of movies.
In the wee hours of the morning, I shuffled the guys off to the living room, where we were supposed to be sleeping, which, in my mind, meant where we should be found when Mom woke up. Ironically, though we had all been falling asleep in the family room (amongst the ladies), once we changed venue, we just started goofing around and talking. Finally, Mom came down and I helped her with breakfast. We all sat around the table talking and laughing. I thought to myself as I gazed about me, missing only a few of the faces needed for the complete group, and thought, “Wow, we’re like a big family.” We were, too, people joking, talking, eating together. That and the fact that it’s all encased within that great love of friendship. Family seemed to be the perfect word. We then head back out to the family room and a couple of us played video games, while others slept for the first time all night. Then, one by one, my friends left, receiving a grateful hug or handshake on their way out, to express how much I’d missed them and how happy I’d been to see them again, let alone spend all night with them.
These last few days of the break have been similar in that each day, our group has found some way to meet up, have dinner, and go to someone’s house for a movie. After New Years Day was deemed a day of recovery, we went to Kate’s on Thursday, Katey’s on Friday, Meghan’s on Saturday, Kate’s again on Sunday and then took another day off on Monday. Each night was great, with laughter-filled meals, relaxing movie atmospheres and a couple of crazy games of Trivial Pursuit tossed in the mix.
In short, I have had two separate vacations during the break. How ironic that the one that was the most relaxing and fun was the one closest to home. I suppose this once again displays how much I love being with my friends. The feeling is incomparable and indescribable. We sometimes do some pretty pointless things, but as long as we’re all there having fun, it’s always worth it. I wouldn’t trade one moment of the last week for anything at all. My family is another story. Why is it that, after high school, I stand a better chance of losing the people I never want to have to let go off than I have of losing the people that I’m ready to leave? That one thought frightens me more than anything else in the world. That’s why I’m so glad I live in the age of Instant Messaging. That and e-mail may be the two things that keep my friendships from being broken. I don’t see how I could repay all that my friends have given me by forgetting about them.
Monday, January 06, 2003
Name: Ian
Nicknames: "I" seems to be the big one right now
Screen name(s):Jgreengiant1914, jgreengiant0321 (<---talk to the second one, people)
Sex: male
Birthday: 06/28/85
Height: 6ish feet
Is your hair long or short: depends, it usually grows out to just at the top of my eyes when I get it cut
Eye Color: hazel? I don't pay attention
City born in: Bryn Mawr, PA
Location now: Alpharetta
Siblings: Nope
Who makes you laugh the most?: Any one with a good quote off of stand up comedy and most of my friends
Who knows the most about you?: Kate *cough*Caesar*cough*
[OTHER STUFF]
Do you have a job: no and I wish I did
What are you scared of?: I agree with Joe, losing track of people in college
Who's your role model?: I don't know. Howard Roark, there ya go, like sterling says, why not make your role model perfect?
What store do you shop at the most: Anybody? Thaaaaaat's right. Britches!
Have you ever done any drugs: nope
Do you collect anything: I used to collect Star Wars cards, now I'm going for a good DVD collection
[FAVORITES]
Day of the week:Whatever day I chill with the gang. In the case of this past week, practically every day
Thing in your room: currently that damned box of chocolates that I got for Christmas. Evil cocoa bean. Otherwise, I like the AFLAC duck and my fan remote
Cousin: That's a tough call. They all have their great qualities. Erin's closest to my age, so we identify more, I guess.
Song: "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds
Ice Cream: Dulce de Leche or something with PB cups
Thing to do: chill with people, drive (badly), math (I know, I'm weird)
Movies of all time: boondock, tombstone, usual suspects, princess bride
Hangout: We don't have one, Joe, you're right. That would be cool. I guess we settle for our hall spot.
Favorite pizza topping: sausage
Where do you see yourself in 10 years: what does that make me, 27? Ummm...small house, unless I hit it big immediately, probably one kid by then, a beautiful, smart, loving wife and a lambourgini mercialago (sp?) It's not asking much
Dream house: Pool, lotsa rooms and cool furnishings. A great den. Giant master bedroom. Secluded location. Panic Room (j/k)
How many kids do you want: 2 or 3 is good. Girl, boy and wild card. Hehe, maybe that's what I'll name him or her "Wild Card" Fahey.
Girl's names: Don't really know
Boy's names: I like Eric, maybe spelled Erik like Keselica, Michael, probably not another Ian
[HAVE YOU EVER]
Sat through an entire Dawson's Creek episode: nope, can't say I have
Been in love?: yes
Lied?: Let's see, how about yes
Cheated on a test?: not to my knowledge
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend?: not that I've had that many relationships that I'd have the chance to completely and inexcusably dishonor them, but no, and I never plan to.
Tied your shoes together?: no, and when I find out who did......
Eaten something with a lot of fat?: yeah, it's called any meal out with Uncle Frank (16 appetizers at PF. Changs, uggggggg)
Had sex?: nope
[FEELINGS]
Worst Feeling in the world: guilt, I hate guilt. I also hate feeling alone ( which I rarely do, which is why i dislike it) 3rd degree burns
Best feeling in the world: Being told someone loves you without words
Can you define love?: in a word, no. in a lifetime, doubtful. in a name, perhaps.
Do you get along with your parents?: With mom, I'm fine as long as she doesn't go into her "I have to prove I'm a good mother" persona like she does with family
Are you ticklish?: off and on
[OPPOSITE SEX. . .]
1st thing you notice about the opposite sex: eyes are a big one, smiles
Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?: definitely kate
What do you look for in the opposite sex: confidence, humor, beauty, intelligence
[SLEEPIE TIME. . .]
What do you wear to bed: boxers
What's your bed time: don't really have one. I do often get yelled at to go to sleep, though
Do you wish on stars: haven't needed to for a while
What's the last thing you do before you fall asleep: try not to think of the ring, because I always do that and freak myself out
How many schools have you been to: I don't know and you don't care
Vanilla or chocolate: vanilla ice cream, but chocolate everything else
Would you rather be hot or cold: hot
What is your curfew: Freaking ELEVEN
Do you have a pager/cell phone: yes, but its a little silent bitch who won't ring
[FRIENDS. . .]
person you can trust the most: Kate
what is the best quality of a friend: trust and loyalty and, for my friends, a sense of humor.
[SILLY STUFF]
Do you keep your underwear and socks in the same drawer: no, I have one of those hanging compartment things in my closet
Can you name all 4 Teletubbies: Tallest to shortest Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La la, Po (before you even say it, my cousin went through a phase and I went hunting for the stuffed ones with my uncle. When you're looking for one unattainable one, you not only know its name, but the names of those mocking faces staring at you from the shelves......whoa, sorry, flashback)
Have you ever tried to kill yourself: no
Who do you really hate?: It's a short list. You have to really be a shit to get on it, but some people have done it.
What are you addicted to?: math, friends, internet
Do you like jewelry?: surely, it makes the ladies look lovely and I like my class ring
Do you wear a watch?: yes
Did/Do you have braces?: nope, this is one perfect grill
How many buddies do u have online right now?: 27
Who are they?: numerous people
Do you type with your fingers on the right keys? nyet
Out of all your friends & family,who do you think will become famous?: Jeez, everyone in our crowd's got a chance
Do you sleep a lot?: Weekends I do
Are you a night or morning person?: Night, I'm a good all day and night kinda guy though
Who is the loudest person you know? Starla
Are you lefty or righty or ambidextrous?: right
When was the last time you laughed really hard?: Lots this last week, but I loved it when kate's dad said something about ashley (their cat) and seth said he thought he'd taken her spot when he arrived
How many rings before you answer the phone?: However many it takes
Do you believe in God?: sure
Do you believe there is one person who is meant to be with you?: I dunno, maybe Sterling's right and there are a few. it's moot
What are your favorite tv show(s)? Friends, Whose Line, I always get hooked to those Road Rules/Real World challenges
What color toothbrush do you use:blue?
Is the glass half empty or half full: half full
What is under your bed: crap of many varieties
Most dangerous thing you've ever done: my driving's pretty bad, racing down North Point with Chris
How are your grades in school: They'll do
Do you believe in aliens? doesn't matter
How much time do you spend online each week? More than my share
How many times a day do u brush your teeth?: two if I can
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No, not for a while now
Do you button or Zip your jeans first? Button, then zipper. Same way when they come off
Does life rock or suck?: It rocks with more rocking on the horizon
What do you think of this survey: it got me through a bored moment. It'll do.
Nicknames: "I" seems to be the big one right now
Screen name(s):Jgreengiant1914, jgreengiant0321 (<---talk to the second one, people)
Sex: male
Birthday: 06/28/85
Height: 6ish feet
Is your hair long or short: depends, it usually grows out to just at the top of my eyes when I get it cut
Eye Color: hazel? I don't pay attention
City born in: Bryn Mawr, PA
Location now: Alpharetta
Siblings: Nope
Who makes you laugh the most?: Any one with a good quote off of stand up comedy and most of my friends
Who knows the most about you?: Kate *cough*Caesar*cough*
[OTHER STUFF]
Do you have a job: no and I wish I did
What are you scared of?: I agree with Joe, losing track of people in college
Who's your role model?: I don't know. Howard Roark, there ya go, like sterling says, why not make your role model perfect?
What store do you shop at the most: Anybody? Thaaaaaat's right. Britches!
Have you ever done any drugs: nope
Do you collect anything: I used to collect Star Wars cards, now I'm going for a good DVD collection
[FAVORITES]
Day of the week:Whatever day I chill with the gang. In the case of this past week, practically every day
Thing in your room: currently that damned box of chocolates that I got for Christmas. Evil cocoa bean. Otherwise, I like the AFLAC duck and my fan remote
Cousin: That's a tough call. They all have their great qualities. Erin's closest to my age, so we identify more, I guess.
Song: "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds
Ice Cream: Dulce de Leche or something with PB cups
Thing to do: chill with people, drive (badly), math (I know, I'm weird)
Movies of all time: boondock, tombstone, usual suspects, princess bride
Hangout: We don't have one, Joe, you're right. That would be cool. I guess we settle for our hall spot.
Favorite pizza topping: sausage
Where do you see yourself in 10 years: what does that make me, 27? Ummm...small house, unless I hit it big immediately, probably one kid by then, a beautiful, smart, loving wife and a lambourgini mercialago (sp?) It's not asking much
Dream house: Pool, lotsa rooms and cool furnishings. A great den. Giant master bedroom. Secluded location. Panic Room (j/k)
How many kids do you want: 2 or 3 is good. Girl, boy and wild card. Hehe, maybe that's what I'll name him or her "Wild Card" Fahey.
Girl's names: Don't really know
Boy's names: I like Eric, maybe spelled Erik like Keselica, Michael, probably not another Ian
[HAVE YOU EVER]
Sat through an entire Dawson's Creek episode: nope, can't say I have
Been in love?: yes
Lied?: Let's see, how about yes
Cheated on a test?: not to my knowledge
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend?: not that I've had that many relationships that I'd have the chance to completely and inexcusably dishonor them, but no, and I never plan to.
Tied your shoes together?: no, and when I find out who did......
Eaten something with a lot of fat?: yeah, it's called any meal out with Uncle Frank (16 appetizers at PF. Changs, uggggggg)
Had sex?: nope
[FEELINGS]
Worst Feeling in the world: guilt, I hate guilt. I also hate feeling alone ( which I rarely do, which is why i dislike it) 3rd degree burns
Best feeling in the world: Being told someone loves you without words
Can you define love?: in a word, no. in a lifetime, doubtful. in a name, perhaps.
Do you get along with your parents?: With mom, I'm fine as long as she doesn't go into her "I have to prove I'm a good mother" persona like she does with family
Are you ticklish?: off and on
[OPPOSITE SEX. . .]
1st thing you notice about the opposite sex: eyes are a big one, smiles
Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?: definitely kate
What do you look for in the opposite sex: confidence, humor, beauty, intelligence
[SLEEPIE TIME. . .]
What do you wear to bed: boxers
What's your bed time: don't really have one. I do often get yelled at to go to sleep, though
Do you wish on stars: haven't needed to for a while
What's the last thing you do before you fall asleep: try not to think of the ring, because I always do that and freak myself out
How many schools have you been to: I don't know and you don't care
Vanilla or chocolate: vanilla ice cream, but chocolate everything else
Would you rather be hot or cold: hot
What is your curfew: Freaking ELEVEN
Do you have a pager/cell phone: yes, but its a little silent bitch who won't ring
[FRIENDS. . .]
person you can trust the most: Kate
what is the best quality of a friend: trust and loyalty and, for my friends, a sense of humor.
[SILLY STUFF]
Do you keep your underwear and socks in the same drawer: no, I have one of those hanging compartment things in my closet
Can you name all 4 Teletubbies: Tallest to shortest Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La la, Po (before you even say it, my cousin went through a phase and I went hunting for the stuffed ones with my uncle. When you're looking for one unattainable one, you not only know its name, but the names of those mocking faces staring at you from the shelves......whoa, sorry, flashback)
Have you ever tried to kill yourself: no
Who do you really hate?: It's a short list. You have to really be a shit to get on it, but some people have done it.
What are you addicted to?: math, friends, internet
Do you like jewelry?: surely, it makes the ladies look lovely and I like my class ring
Do you wear a watch?: yes
Did/Do you have braces?: nope, this is one perfect grill
How many buddies do u have online right now?: 27
Who are they?: numerous people
Do you type with your fingers on the right keys? nyet
Out of all your friends & family,who do you think will become famous?: Jeez, everyone in our crowd's got a chance
Do you sleep a lot?: Weekends I do
Are you a night or morning person?: Night, I'm a good all day and night kinda guy though
Who is the loudest person you know? Starla
Are you lefty or righty or ambidextrous?: right
When was the last time you laughed really hard?: Lots this last week, but I loved it when kate's dad said something about ashley (their cat) and seth said he thought he'd taken her spot when he arrived
How many rings before you answer the phone?: However many it takes
Do you believe in God?: sure
Do you believe there is one person who is meant to be with you?: I dunno, maybe Sterling's right and there are a few. it's moot
What are your favorite tv show(s)? Friends, Whose Line, I always get hooked to those Road Rules/Real World challenges
What color toothbrush do you use:blue?
Is the glass half empty or half full: half full
What is under your bed: crap of many varieties
Most dangerous thing you've ever done: my driving's pretty bad, racing down North Point with Chris
How are your grades in school: They'll do
Do you believe in aliens? doesn't matter
How much time do you spend online each week? More than my share
How many times a day do u brush your teeth?: two if I can
Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: No, not for a while now
Do you button or Zip your jeans first? Button, then zipper. Same way when they come off
Does life rock or suck?: It rocks with more rocking on the horizon
What do you think of this survey: it got me through a bored moment. It'll do.
Saturday, January 04, 2003
This is an essay I wrote for my John Carroll Schlarship application for G-town. I really want to get the scholarship, so any input will be appreciated. Sorry about the lack of normal blog material. I'll get back to you soon.
Sorry about the BS tone I always take when I write these college essays and I'm sorry about the awful corny last sentence.
Throughout my life, I have come to accept the fact that, when it comes to school, math is my favorite subject. I do not simply do well in math, however. When I finished taking the SAT II subject test for Math Level IIC, my friend Kris and I remarked on how interesting some of the questions were and how enjoyable it was. Upon receiving the results of the Georgia Math League statewide tests and scoring a 5 out of 6, I immediately search for my mistakes or read over concepts unfamiliar to me. On the other hand, many other students receive 2’s and 3’s on the test and, frankly, could not care less as long as they passed it after my teacher’s curve. During my senior year, I voluntarily took a copy of a test made up by a Precalculus teacher for his students, the same teacher whose class I took the year before, so that I’d have something to do in my spare time. I spent a few days once trying to find a relationship between the cubes of integers, for no reason other than a satisfaction of my thought. I rarely shirk Calculus homework and, in fact, I often enjoy taking an hour or so to do it. I also take pleasure in explaining the work to others who need a little help. Once, I even broke out some Legos to help me solve a word problem I was having trouble visualizing on an assignment that was not graded. Thus, in light of all of these statements, I believe that I am more than a little passionate about the field of mathematics.
For some reason, I have always found intellectual stimulation from math. It’s my personal belief that my passion for the subject has been derived from two sources. First of all, the very nature of mathematic learning and study appeals to me. Math is comprehensive, with each concept building upon those before it. Knowledge of simpler mathematic operations and ideas become second nature when dealing with more complex problems. I do indeed have a place in my intellectual heart for the more subjective studies, as I absolutely worship Shakespeare. However, the concrete boundaries of math have always felt safer to me. While languages and philosophies change with the course of human evolution, math is a constant factor in human experience. I enjoy math because I need only understand a theorem or a rule once and there is very little likelihood that new evidence can be found to alter it. I am therefore supported as I move on to higher levels of mathematical understanding.
The true nurturing of my passion for math, however, came at the hands of my teachers. Throughout middle and high school I have been very lucky with the caliber of my math teachers. Their teaching methods radiated love of the subject. From basic algebra to integral calculus, I was taught by passionate men and women who went beyond the regurgitation of textbook formulas and, instead, explained the concepts and reasoning behind the math. Learning can never be a chore as long as the teacher is aware of the importance of having their own zeal for the subject they teach. The aforementioned Precalculus teacher received three consecutive scores of 1600 on SATs, which, being from England, he was not required to take. He took it for the sake of the challenge. He possessed the desire to understand and, through understanding, to succeed. It is due to such enthusiasm for learning on their part that I too am gifted with a craving for comprehension and, luckily for me, the incredible teaching that provides it.
As for my pursuit of math in the future, nothing is as concrete as my math-oriented mind would have it be. I hope to be continually inspired by teachers through my college years, in an environment where I can actively center upon the subject I enjoy. After school, I would like to enter a profession that utilizes my analytical thought process, something like statistics, actuarial science, or even government code breaking. Whatever I choose initially, someday I wish to be a teacher. Nothing would make me happier than to provide a student with the inspiration that my teachers provided me. Furthermore, due to the boundless nature of mathematical study, even as I instill passion in my students, there will always be something left for me to learn, and thus my passion for math will never cease, but instead will grow exponentially.
Sorry about the BS tone I always take when I write these college essays and I'm sorry about the awful corny last sentence.
Throughout my life, I have come to accept the fact that, when it comes to school, math is my favorite subject. I do not simply do well in math, however. When I finished taking the SAT II subject test for Math Level IIC, my friend Kris and I remarked on how interesting some of the questions were and how enjoyable it was. Upon receiving the results of the Georgia Math League statewide tests and scoring a 5 out of 6, I immediately search for my mistakes or read over concepts unfamiliar to me. On the other hand, many other students receive 2’s and 3’s on the test and, frankly, could not care less as long as they passed it after my teacher’s curve. During my senior year, I voluntarily took a copy of a test made up by a Precalculus teacher for his students, the same teacher whose class I took the year before, so that I’d have something to do in my spare time. I spent a few days once trying to find a relationship between the cubes of integers, for no reason other than a satisfaction of my thought. I rarely shirk Calculus homework and, in fact, I often enjoy taking an hour or so to do it. I also take pleasure in explaining the work to others who need a little help. Once, I even broke out some Legos to help me solve a word problem I was having trouble visualizing on an assignment that was not graded. Thus, in light of all of these statements, I believe that I am more than a little passionate about the field of mathematics.
For some reason, I have always found intellectual stimulation from math. It’s my personal belief that my passion for the subject has been derived from two sources. First of all, the very nature of mathematic learning and study appeals to me. Math is comprehensive, with each concept building upon those before it. Knowledge of simpler mathematic operations and ideas become second nature when dealing with more complex problems. I do indeed have a place in my intellectual heart for the more subjective studies, as I absolutely worship Shakespeare. However, the concrete boundaries of math have always felt safer to me. While languages and philosophies change with the course of human evolution, math is a constant factor in human experience. I enjoy math because I need only understand a theorem or a rule once and there is very little likelihood that new evidence can be found to alter it. I am therefore supported as I move on to higher levels of mathematical understanding.
The true nurturing of my passion for math, however, came at the hands of my teachers. Throughout middle and high school I have been very lucky with the caliber of my math teachers. Their teaching methods radiated love of the subject. From basic algebra to integral calculus, I was taught by passionate men and women who went beyond the regurgitation of textbook formulas and, instead, explained the concepts and reasoning behind the math. Learning can never be a chore as long as the teacher is aware of the importance of having their own zeal for the subject they teach. The aforementioned Precalculus teacher received three consecutive scores of 1600 on SATs, which, being from England, he was not required to take. He took it for the sake of the challenge. He possessed the desire to understand and, through understanding, to succeed. It is due to such enthusiasm for learning on their part that I too am gifted with a craving for comprehension and, luckily for me, the incredible teaching that provides it.
As for my pursuit of math in the future, nothing is as concrete as my math-oriented mind would have it be. I hope to be continually inspired by teachers through my college years, in an environment where I can actively center upon the subject I enjoy. After school, I would like to enter a profession that utilizes my analytical thought process, something like statistics, actuarial science, or even government code breaking. Whatever I choose initially, someday I wish to be a teacher. Nothing would make me happier than to provide a student with the inspiration that my teachers provided me. Furthermore, due to the boundless nature of mathematical study, even as I instill passion in my students, there will always be something left for me to learn, and thus my passion for math will never cease, but instead will grow exponentially.